It's only January and already I feel like a champ

This is no easy task for me, to feel accomplished. For some reason I am maddeningly hard on myself as far as my talents or capabilities are concerned (I can generate dozens of boring theories here), and therefore already set myself up for failure on the branch.

Not so this time. I'm probably breaking cartons of eggs in the process of making an omelet, but who am I to complain? No New Year's resolutions (I'll make those when it's apparent there's no structure to my life), but some things I've concluded the past few months that I need to achieve:

• Learn to juggle: The only reason why I can't so far is I lacked both the confidence that I could master this, and the discipline. Speaking of which:


• Enforce self-discipline: This really only will improve if I work on my other goals


• Find a suitable martial art to practice: That discipline thing. Plus, the whole exercise thing. Along with other benefits, such as peace of mind


• Pursue printmaking: This is probably the most enjoyable medium for me, as I never get sick of actually working on prints (I have issues with all other mediums, it appears), or the results. Find a guild or such, take classes


• Bring closure to my dog situation: Pursue legal action. Thought I was going to just let you get away with it? Thought wrong!

There are other goals from obvious motives like improving my artwork to learning to unicycle, getting an apartment, maybe a steady job or make money off my own work; preferably both as one, et cetera, but these were the main ones I had in mind.

At least I've been making headway with the first. I went to the circus skillshare last night and in two short hours improved my juggling capabilities. This means my primitive knowledge of floating two balls constantly in the air jumped to being able to keep three balls going...kind of. Even if the majority of my time was spent chasing them or starting the sequence again; but still, I managed to keep them in rotation with a little jogging around. Pretty big difference.

And making headway in this design commission I have for a parking program. It's a lot more exciting than it sounds.

And, of course, still knitting and crocheting.

So far, so good.

On The Golden Compass

I remember when I first saw the website for this movie. I was itching for it to come out; I figured it would be at least as promising as Narnia in film (Lord of the Rings would be quite a stretch). Even with the themes thrown out, there were enough plot twists and characters for it to be a challenge to make entertaining, if not make sense.

Not to mention that the books (The Golden Compass being one of three) revolve around global themes. The books were written to explore ideas regarding humanity and religion, human conditions, which the main characer Lyra exists as a window for us to see it through. Not the other way around; it is not a "character" story, though the characters are well-developed and mature along the way. I had trouble understanding this when I first read the trilogy; I still enjoyed the books the first time as I followed the characters around, but I didn't realize what Pullman was trying to get across until the second reading--he made an extremely complex discussion of atheism, religion, and the flaws of mankind easily accessible and entertaining without missing a detail.

So of course, a story with such a broad message doesn't translate well into a movie. No matter how entertaining it was striving to be--the plot itself is so long, cramming it into two hours (less?) made it unappealing to me as someone who simply wants to see something entertaining. I know a lot of people enjoyed watching it, but at the same time everyone who's seen it who hasn't read the book seemed pretty confused about the point of the story. Even if it strayed as far away as possible from the whole religious theme of the book, I feel it could have easily been more focused and understandable.

Even having seen the movie for free, I feel like I wasn't getting my money's worth. Oh well, it's quite the task to do a good book justice as it is.

On Peace of Mind and Mortality

Popo (my grandmother) was found last Saturday in the bathroom on the floor; Saturdays are the days we always visit and have dinner, if not also other days of the week.

According to the medics she was probably lying there for at least a day. There was a pool of blood by the nightstand in the "guest" bedroom, which is really the bedroom that she used to share with my grandfather when he was still alive. There is a horribly huge bruise covering half her head.

We'd just come back from spending a week around Christmas in LA to visit my cousins (and her great-granddaughter, too), which was actually pretty relaxing in all. Or at least, it was relaxing on my end; my sister and I and Stonewall were lucky enough to stay with one cousin, leaving us neatly out of any drama circles that probably ensued in our absence.

I wonder, since Popo had just seen family and is obviously feeling her 91 years of age nowadays, if it was related at all. After seeing family all together and well, and being easily exhausted (we had just procured an assisted wheelchair before we left).

When I first saw her in the hospital she started dispensing the sort of wisdom you get from someone who doesn't expect to see another day. She looked extremely tired, and frail. I'm pretty sure her eyes were never that small before, even when she took her glasses off. Two IVs--one for blood. It was frightening--until my sister reminded me that seven years back when I started college (...Jesus, has it really been that long) she took a tumble down the stairs leading to her apartment, and ran through the same dialogue in the hospital.

That, and the doctors said she'd be back on her feet by sometime next week, latest. She's a pretty tough old lady.

Jon and I are moving in for a few months while he goes through his EMT course in the city, along with the fact that we want to move up there soon...and we'll be able to keep Popo company as well.

I would never bring this up in front of my mom, but I really wonder how much longer she's got. At the same time, I'd rather not think about it.