But not in the living room.

She found a wall in the way of her path, where smooth paving had given way to loose chunks of gravel and the machinations of weeds.

Strange, she thought, placing her hand against the wall, one cannot end a journey this way.

The wall was warm to the touch, paper-husk rough with more cracks and etchings than baked claybed; it smelled not unpleasantly of pungent earth. With a gentle push it yielded with the faintest wobble, but did not give open. Scraping and kicking were to no avail, and when night came with its dark cloak, the girl curled up against the warmth of the wall and, perplexed, fell to sleep.

It was when the chill of morning crept in that she woke, and feeling the faint heat emanating from the wall, pressed further against it. This time it pressed back.

She sprang to her feet in terror, stumbling back from the fingers of dawn, rubbing her elbows in the cold. And then she began to laugh. For there before her lay the entire majesty of an elephant, whose neck she scratched at gratefully as she circled round it and continued on her way.

To bask in.

If there were any outward sign of committed religious vocation, that flowers—the trees, all plants, yearn for and face the sun, not one another. There is nothing more devoted to receiving grace than petals turned upward toward the light.

And history is love.

The greatest thing about having your heart torn in pieces is the beautiful stitch marks that lace over and accentuate its story, and hold it back together. These flaws, these mistakes, or giving too freely—to remember why, and how or who and when.

Scars are a beautiful thing.

OOPS

I forgot exactly how vulnerable baring your soul can make you.

Tally up another scar.

Get it right.

That's "ritual", assholes, not "routine".

This is a man-made pond, but it's grown out so naturally that the grass blends right back into the mounds of river rock and from there back into the golden folds of hills.

A big fish eye stares at me calmly as I trace my fingers along trout belly. He's removed the hook while I'm doing this. Without coaxing, the trout flips gracefully upright and glides back into the depths of the pond, a pleasant how-do-you-do, a handshake.

Hands on my hips, skin tawny under a noonday baking sun, a squint over the ripples left behind.

"I swear to god, that fish wanted you to pet him," he tells me in the quiet awe that follows.

This sinks in for a moment, as gently as dew to earth, and then to the business of laying the line out again.

Emotional Weather

heavy combed air

and all I am is
cat-stretched lidded-eyed
slab under cloud-sweat slather